2 Samuel Series - Week 14: Reconciliation in God’s Timing

  The acclaimed director, Christopher Nolan, released a new take on Homer’s Odyssey. The Odyssey is the second part of a greater epic about the Trojan and Greek wars. The Odyssey focuses on Odysseus, his men, and their adventure returning home. 

One of the most iconic scenes of Homer’s great epic is the Trojan horse. For ten years the Greeks have tried to break through the walls of the great Trojan city of Troy. But the walls are too heavily fortified. It is then that the Greeks get an idea, they will pretend to leave, but they’ll also leave behind a wooden horse with soldiers inside. The hope is, the Trojans will bring the horse into the city and from within, their destruction can finally come. 

Everything works out, Troy falls to the Greeks, and Odyssey’s adventure home begins.

The story has become one of the most well known examples of betrayal in history. Believing you are bringing something good into your home, and yet within it, destruction follows.

It’s this idea of hoping for good, but experiencing evil from that good that brings us back to our series in Second Samuel, where we’ll be picking it back up in Second Samuel Chapter 14, starting in verse 1. And as we are opening up to Second Samuel 14:1, let’s remind ourselves how we got here.

The Dark Days of David began when David allowed his eyes to linger on Bathsheba as she bathed. This led to adultery, conspiracy, and the murder of her husband Uriah. The judgement of God came to David and the child born through that adultery died. Then, because of David’s sin, the spiritual covering over his family was shattered. His oldest son, Amnon, violated his sister, Tamar. When David found out, he compounded the sin of his son by not bringing justice to his daughter. This let the sin fester, and Tamar’s brother Absalom took vengeance two years later, killing Amnon.

Through these series of events, we can walk away with the understanding that, God calls us to not allow sin to fester, because it will grow and destroy as much as it can. David allowed his sin to fester and it led to the destruction of his entire family. God is calling us to confession, repentance, and godly judgment which are the antidote to sin’s festering. But as we’ll see today, David’s festering sin still hasn’t been dealt with.

Let’s read together Second Samuel 14:1-15:12.

14:1 Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king's heart went out to Absalom. 2 And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. 3 Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.

4 When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” 5 And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. 6 And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. 7 And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.”

8 Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” 9 And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father's house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” 10 The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” 11 Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

12 Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” 13 And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. 14 We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. 15 Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. 16 For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ 17 And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!”

18 Then the king answered the woman, “Do not hide from me anything I ask you.” And the woman said, “Let my lord the king speak.” 19 The king said, “Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?” The woman answered and said, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, one cannot turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has said. It was your servant Joab who commanded me; it was he who put all these words in the mouth of your servant. 20 In order to change the course of things your servant Joab did this. But my lord has wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God to know all things that are on the earth.”

21 Then the king said to Joab, “Behold now, I grant this; go, bring back the young man Absalom.” 22 And Joab fell on his face to the ground and paid homage and blessed the king. And Joab said, “Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord the king, in that the king has granted the request of his servant.” 23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 24 And the king said, “Let him dwell apart in his own house; he is not to come into my presence.” So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king's presence.

25 Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 26 And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king's weight. 27 There were born to Absalom three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a beautiful woman.

28 So Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem, without coming into the king's presence. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. 30 Then he said to his servants, “See, Joab's field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So Absalom's servants set the field on fire. 31 Then Joab arose and went to Absalom at his house and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” 32 Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death.’” 33 Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.

15:1 After this Absalom got himself a chariot and horses, and fifty men to run before him. 2 And Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way of the gate. And when any man had a dispute to come before the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And when he said, “Your servant is of such and such a tribe in Israel,” 3 Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” 4 Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

7 And at the end of four years Absalom said to the king, “Please let me go and pay my vow, which I have vowed to the Lord, in Hebron. 8 For your servant vowed a vow while I lived at Geshur in Aram, saying, ‘If the Lord will indeed bring me back to Jerusalem, then I will offer worship to the Lord.’” 9 The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he arose and went to Hebron. 10 But Absalom sent secret messengers throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, ‘Absalom is king at Hebron!’” 11 With Absalom went two hundred men from Jerusalem who were invited guests, and they went in their innocence and knew nothing. 12 And while Absalom was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David's counselor, from his city Giloh. And the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing.

v.14:1-28

The passage begins on a hopeful note. Joab sees that David is having a hard time because he wants to bring his son, Absalom, home, but he can’t because he feels like that wouldn’t look good. Absalom is still seen as a murder.

So Joab takes a book out of God’s playbook, and gets someone to present a situation where David is given a way to bring his son back to Jerusalem. Except, instead of God being the author, it’s Joab. Notice that God hasn’t spoken. God hasn’t called for Absalom to return, so Joab’s taking this upon himself. We’re told at the end of verse 3, “So Joab put the words in her mouth.” In a sense, Joab is playing the part of God. It is his word, not God’s, that’s being carried out here. 

But Joab might not only be wanting Absalom back because David was distressed about his son. Remember, Joab’s a military leader. In verse 25 we get a description of Absalom for the first time. We’re told that he’s handsome, and there’s a sense that this is what Joab is looking at; to the outside of Absalom rather than inside. Like Saul, Absalom looks the part of a king. In fact he comes from royalty on his mother’s side. So Joab might have a dual purpose here. He wants to help David with restoring the relationship, but he also might see Absalom as the potential best bet to be the next king.

But because it’s not God that is calling on David to restore this relationship, Joab inadvertently caused more issues.

v.29-33

Another two years pass, and Joab’s decision comes to bite him. Absalom seeks to find out from Joab when he will see his father, but Joab doesn’t respond. So after a few attempts, Absalom gets frustrated and he turns to violence once again, burning Joab’s field.

That gets Joab’s attention, and from there Joab gets Absalom an audience with the king.

The chapter ends with the hope of its beginning being fulfilled. Reconciliation between father and son occurs. And by embracing Absalom, David shows that he forgives his son’s sin in killing Amnon. Everything is good, right?

v.15:1-12

No, because soon after Absalom shows his true colors. He begins to sow seeds of discontent with everyone who comes to bring their issues before David. Remember, Absalom has seen that David didn’t give his sister Tamar justice, and with Amnon dead, Absalom focuses his anger towards the king. He begins to tell people, “… there is no man designated by the king to hear you … Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice. (v.15:3-4)”

But there is a man to bring justice, that’s the king, but Absalom doesn’t believe that. He doesn’t believe that David is just, but he could bring justice to people if only he were the judge in the land.

It’s through these seeds of injustice, that Absalom shows he is seeking to overthrown his father. Except Absalom doesn’t have the military might just yet, but he has deception. Like he did before, he goes to his father and makes a request. This time it’s to worship the Lord. This is a good thing, and David grants it. 

So Absalom takes 200 men. These guys don’t know Absalom’s plan. They’re being used to make it look like Absalom has 200 young warriors coming to his side. It’s a ploy to scare his father. Absalom even called for one of David’s counselors to come with him, to bolster the idea that the son was stronger than he actually was.

The chapter ends, not on a hopeful note, but with civil war on the horizon. What was supposed to be a reconciliation turns out to be a fracturing of the nation. David’s sin is working itself out as the festering continues.

And here’s the take away: too often we try to play the part of God and force things that shouldn’t happen. Last week we talked about how vengeance is God’s domain and we must allow him to work out justice in his time. This situation of Absalom sowing seeds of discontent and rallying people around him to overthrow his father is a direct result of one man trying to fix a situation that God had not called to fix. 

Should there be reconciliation between David and Absalom? Yes, that’s the hope. But that reconciliation needs to be moved by God, not by man. We should desire that relationships be restored, that’s one of the big themes of First Samuel. However, sometimes time needs to pass for that reconciliation to actually be good. 

David was ready for reconciliation, but Absalom wasn’t. He still held deep anger for the injustices that his father allowed his sister to experience. Absalom wasn’t ready to reconcile. Instead, he was ready to destroy. Absalom was hurt by his father, and he wanted his father to fall because of it. 

Our intentions for reconciliation may be good, but good intentions are not what we are called to. God’s people are called to have godly intentions. That’s good intentions directed by God. God’s desire is that all people would be reconciled to himself and each other, but the reality is, not everyone is ready or wants reconciliation. And if given the opportunity, they will destroy more lives because they have been given unfettered access to do so.

Instead of trying to fix everything, we should begin in prayer, seeking the Lord for reconciliation. Allowing him to work in our hearts and the hearts of those we seek reconciliation with. Then, in the Lord’s timing, that reconciliation happens through mutual repentance and forgiveness. 

A heart that’s ready to be reconciled has a humbleness about it. We don’t see that in Absalom. When he didn’t get an answer from Joab, instead of waiting for God to move, he burned a field. That tells us where his heart was. He wasn’t ready for reconciliation, but Joab sought to force it. 

David would write in Psalm 37, “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him … (v.37:3-7a)”

Maybe David thought that he had waited upon the Lord and that God was bringing about righteous reconciliation. I think that as soon as he realized that Joab was the one behind the words in the woman’s mouth (v.19-20), David should have remember that Joab was a wicked man, and that this wasn’t from the Lord, but from man. But David’s desire was reconciliation, and he went forward, most likely because of his own remorse over his sin. And that ungodly reconciliation, led to disaster.

It’s a hard place to be, desiring reconciliation, yet waiting on God to bring about godly restoration. But it’s what God calls us to. To seek reconciliation in his timing. 

My challenge for you this week is to pray for reconciliation. It might be for you and a relationship that has been broken. It could be for someone else’s relationship that you know their hurting because it was broken. It could be for our nation that needs reconciliation between neighbors. Whatever reconciliation you see that needs to happen, pray for it daily this week, asking God to move in his time, and to help you recognize when godly reconciliation is happening. One of the ways you know, is that people are humbly asking forgiveness without being forced to do so. 

God is calling us to seek him in reconciliation. We are to be a people who want our Father’s desire in his timing. Amen.

Week 13: God’s Place of Vengeance

  During home games at the Atlanta Braves’ stadium, they have a contest where one fan can challenge the person they call The Freeze, to a foot race around the warning track of the baseball field. Recently, one particular racer went viral across social media, when, at the start of the race, he blew a kiss to The Freeze, to mock him. It was as if he said, “Bye, bye, you won’t catch me.”

Let’s see if the runner was right or not:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/PoyM3MbItCs.

What made the race go viral, is that we like to see people who are cocky get their comeuppance. We like to see un-humble people, humbled. In other words, we like to see justice happen in real time.

It’s this idea of justice being served, that brings us back to our summer series in the book of Second Samuel, where we’ll be picking it back in Second Samuel Chapter 13, verses 23-39. As we open up to Second Samuel 13:23, let’s look back at how we go to this point.

David’s sin with Bathsheba led to the murder of Uriah. This broke down the spiritual covering that a father has over his family. God told David this would happen and that it would be a punishment because of his sin.

From this breakdown we saw David’s oldest son, Amnon, violate his half-sister Tamar. Then, if that wasn’t horrible enough, David compounded that violation, but not bringing justice for his own daughter, allowing his son to go free. However, David’s third oldest son and Tamar’s full brother, Absalom held anger towards Amnon, and waited for a time to enact revenge. We walked away from last week with the understanding that, God calls us to not allow the festering of sin, but to do right by others through godly judgment. David allowed sin to fester. He allowed Amon’s sin against Tamar to fester, and by not taking action, he allowed Absalom’s anger to fester.

It’s Absalom’s festering sin that we now see come out as we read Second Samuel 13:23-39. 

23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king's sons. 24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. 28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king's sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments. 32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king's sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.”

34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king's sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king's sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.

37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead.

v.23-27 - So we see that two years had gone by as Absalom’s anger brewed over the injustices that were done to Tamar. Where he has held his tongue toward’s his older half-brother. But he is given the opportunity to take his anger out toward’s Amnon.

Now it seems like Absalom is calling his entire male family members to a grand feast as his sheep are being sheered. Could Absalom be plotting to expose Amnon’s sins to other people, or because David declined the invitation, did Absalom decide it was the perfect opportunity to get his revenge on Amnon? We don’t know. However, Absalom takes the opportunity to gather his men together and kill Amnon.

v.28-29 - However, it’s interesting that when calling for his servants to help him killing Amnon, he uses a variation of what God first said to Joshua, in Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed …” Absalom uses God’s words, which has probably become a saying to encourage people by this time, to help him in killing Amnon.

This works, and the servants kill the brother. Now, I’m not is disagreement with Absalom at this point. Amon’s violation deserved death, David, who should have brought justice to Tamar didn’t, so I’m not mad at Absalom for what he did.

It reminds me of Gary Plauché. In 1983, Gary’s son Jody began taking karate lessons from Jeff Doucet (dew-say). Eventually, the karate instructor became part of the family. He attended game nights and other family activities. Soon Jeff the instructor began to groom Jody, by touching him passively at first, and then aggressively. The parents found out what was going on when Jeff abducted Jody and took him to Disneyland. The police got involved, and Jeff and Jody were found at a hotel in Anaheim, California. When the tests came back for positive sexual assault, Jeff was sent back to Louisiana. Jeff got off the plain, with officers escorting him, and reporters taking video. Then, out of nowhere, a man who had been on a payphone brought out a gun and shot Jeff. It was Jody’s father, Gary. Gary plead no contest to manslaughter and was given 300 hours of community service.

I get where Gary’s coming from, and I’m not sure he deserved the 300 hours of community service. I get Gary’s rage, and I get Absalom’s too. He did what he believed was justice. But we’ll see later on, how this act led him down a darker path.

v.30-39 - But after Amnon dies, the report first comes to David that Absalom has killed all of David’s sons. If that were true, it would make it seem like Absalom was making a move to become king. In that instance, David might be thinking that this was the breaking apart of his kingdom that God had told him about.

However, Jonadab, the one who hatched Amnon’s plan to violate Tamar, informs the king that it was only Amnon who Absalom killed. Even though Jonadab didn’t know this for a fact, he knew that Absalom must have been angry toward Amnon for violating Tamar. And Jonadab was right when David’s sons returned.

It’s here that Absalom flees for his life. The act of killing Amnon is seen as premeditated murder, and because of this, there was nowhere in Israel for him to go. He couldn’t return home, David would have to act this time. Absalom couldn’t go to one of the sanctuary cities, because they would have to turn him over immediately because of the act. So he goes to his mother’s father who is a king outside of Israel. 

But why would David have to bring justice down on his son, when Absalom was bringing justice down on his sister’s rapist? My inclination is that, though Tamar’s violation was known by the royal court, the people didn’t know. They probably believed that Amnon was just a good son of the king. And when another son killed the other, it was the killer who was the problem. Perhaps David didn’t want it known that he didn’t give justice to his daughter, and that’s possibly the real reason why we get this end to the passage.

The passage ends with David coming to terms with Amnon’s death. Perhaps he realized that it was a just killing. Then we’re told that David wanted to go to Absalom to see him again, but David would not go to him. I think it’s because if David went out, he would have to face his own injustice, and be exposed to the nation. David has tried to hide his sin in the past, so it’s not out of the realm of possibilities for him to do the same thing here.

But whatever the case, David’s inaction with Tamar, has led to the death of one son, and his other son on the run. And, it just gets worse from here.

So what can we take away from this. In my flesh, I identify with Absalom. Every time I hear of an injustice, my blood boils. I have thought about how I would go about getting justice for people that have been hurt. Whether that’s someone I personally know, or someone I hear about. 

And so one of the verses that I struggle with is, Romans 12:17-19, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Paul is quoting Deuteronomy 32:35, and its a call to allow God to take vengeance for situations like these. In fact, when Paul says, “… but leave it to the wrath of God …” he is saying, “give room for it to take place.” Like everywhere else in our lives, there’s a place for God’s work to be done, and we need to let God work in this particular spot. Vengeance is his spot, not ours. When we are not the ones to enact the justice, we have to leave it with God who lets us know he will deal with it. And that’s a hard thing to do.

One of the reasons for this is because when we take wrath into our own hands, greater evils may come about. For Gary and his son, their relationship actually suffered because of it. In a People Magazine article in 2025, Jody was interviewed about the situation. The article reads, “‘I would advise any parent whose child's been molested to be there for their child and not to take the law into your own hands and put yourself in a position to be prosecuted.’ Child sex abusers, he says, ‘gain the trust and the affection of the child. And that's really kind of their protection, because I didn't want Jeff dead, I didn't want Daddy to hurt Jeff. I just wanted Jeff to stop doing what he was doing …’” 

Because Gary took his wrath into his own hands, the healing separation of Jody from his abuser might have taken longer. I think Jody understands his father’s action, but as a child, his dad just killed his friend, even a friend that had hurt him.

For Absalom, that wrath eventually led him to despise his father, lead a rebellion against his dad, and to his own death. Where Absalom tired to do the right thing, it led him to become a villain in the end.

That’s why we must trust God in these circumstances. Not saying it’s easy, or that I wound’t do what Absalom, or Gary did, but God calls his people to a greater standard. And so, we must seek his way over our own, which is the more difficult path, but it’s always just. 

My challenge for you this week is to pray for those who have been dealt injustices. Pray for those who have been violated the way that Tamar has been. Pray for those who have been abused and abandoned. Pray for those, who have been hurt by powerful people and couldn’t get justice from earthly courts. Pray that God would move to bring his vengeance upon people, that his righteous wrath would go out, and that through it, his healing would be experienced, and many would turn to him for salvation.

Let us be a people who, in our desire for vengeance to be released on evil doers, that we cry out to the one who is just in his vengeance, that we may be godly in seeking justice for all. Amen.

2 Samuel Series - Week 12: A Non-Complicit Walk With God

  Looking back on World War II, the horrific nature of the murders of Jewish people and other groups totaled upwards of around 20 million. You know what it took for that many people to be carted off and murdered? It wasn’t simply the SS, there was only 1 officer per 10,000 people. It was neighbors informing on other people. Telling the SS that they were Jews, or communist, or held any anti-Nazi beliefs. It was the civil servants, like postal workers who distributed the propaganda, or teachers who taught.

All it takes for a Nazi-like regime to come to power is for the majority of people to become complicit in doing the work of ideology. Because people tend to look out for their own self-preservation, it is easy to simply go along not rocking the boat, than it is to stand for what God says is right. 

It’s this idea of being complicit that brings us back to our series where, we’ll be picking it back up in Second Samuel chapter 13, verse 1. As we open up to Second Samuel 13:1, let’s review where we are up to this point.

We’ve been calling section two of Second Samuel, the Dark Days of David. We’ve spent several weeks walking through the sin that caused David’s dark days to start. We’ve looked at the first divine punishment of that sin, and God’s momentary reprieve of judgment. These weeks could be summarized by saying, God will expose and deal with our sin in a just and loving way as to bring us back to himself. In First Samuel, we recognized that God’s intention is always to bring about restoration. So even when he has to punish, or discipline us for sin, he will always do so justly and lovingly so that we would have the opportunity to draw closer to him. We see this in God’s peace with David through Solomon and through David’s conquering of another city. 

However, God is also true to his word. God said that David’s punishment for sin would encompass his entire house, and as we will now see, that punishment is going to work itself out. The next incident is one that is a hard topic, because many people have been victims of it. Yet, we cannot gloss over it, as the Bible relays the story as to not shy away from the wickedness of humanity.

Before we read the text, a little background might help us understand who is being talked about and their connections with each other. In First Samuel 25, David encounters a woman named Abigail. She ends up being very wise and once her husband is dead from a heart attack, David takes her as a wife. However, in taking her, we’re also told that he takes another woman named Ahinoam (Ah-hen-o-em) of Jezreel. Fast forward to Second Samuel 3, we learn about other women David has taken as wives, one of which is Maacah (mah-ha). It is the son of Ahinoam, Amnon, and the son, Absalom, and daughter, Tamar, of Maacah that we are talking about in this passage.

With that in our minds, let’s read together the story of Tamar.

1 Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her. 2 And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.” 5 Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11 But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. 13 As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” 16 But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” 18 Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 19 And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.

20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house. 21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

One of the strengths of the Scriptures, is that it doesn’t shy away from the wickedness of humanity. God doesn’t sugar coat his word to make us feel better, but shows us the horrid truth of what sin does to people.

v.1-8, We’re told that Amon has a great love for his half-sister Tamar. This word for love is the general word that is used in all sorts of context. By using this word, Amnon communicates that his love is genuine, but is uncertain as to how to express that love to Tamar. Already we run into the reality that the love isn’t what it is made out to be. Amnon knows its not the type of love that is godly, because it’s directed at his father’s daughter, and because of that he doesn’t know how to purse it. 

Instead, his friend comes up with a deceitful thing to do. Act sick, and ask the father to have his daughter make him some food. This might seem innocent if we don’t know Amnon’s purpose, because they’re siblings. And because the request appears innocent, David agrees. Tamar then brings the necessary ingredients and prepares the food in front of Amnon. When a person prepared such cakes in front of another, it was a sign of care and affection. The purity of the act of making the cakes is on display from Tamar’s side, and is then contrasted with the horrific nature of the next several verses.

v.9-13, It is after Amnon refuses to eat, and sends the other people in the room away, that he assaults her. He wants her to lie with him, which shows his love, wasn’t love, but lust. He did not love his sister, he desired her body. If he loved her, he would not have pursed her, let alone in such a deceitful manner.

Tamar protests with three reasons for her brother to not proceed in his wicked intentions: First, she says, “… for such a thing is not done in Israel …(v.12).” Sex between siblings, even half siblings, was strictly forbidden by the Mosaic Law. Leviticus 18:9 states, “You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether brought up in the family or in another home.” Tamar is appealing to God’s word to stop the sexual act.

Her second reason is two parts: First she says, “… where could I carry my shame? (v.13)” She appeals to her brother to keep her like she is, a virgin. A woman who wasn’t a virgin at her marriage would bring shame upon herself and her family. She’s asking her brother to not shame her or their family. But this reason only opens the door to her true second reason: “And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. (v.13) ” Tamar appeals to her brother’s own social consequence. The word nabal is a term meaning fool, but not just someone who is being foolish, but wickedly so. This word would describe an unbelieving nation in Deuteronomy 32:21, and describes a person who does not believe in God, in Psalm 53:1. Tamar is letting Amnon know he’ll be known as a wicked man throughout Israel. This could also be appealing to the fact that he is in line to be the next king of Israel. She asking him, “Do you want to be known as a wicked/foolish king?”

Tamar’s final appeal is for Amnon to ask their father to make her his wife. She says, “… please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you. (v.13)” Though we have already read the Mosaic Law against such a union (Lev. 18:9), Tamar appeals to the possibility that there might be a chance they could be married properly, since there may be an ancient Hebrew precedent that could be invoked. However, this is more likely that Tamar is trying to provide another appeal as to get out of the situation and have her father protect her.

v.14-17, But none of the appeals work, and Amnon forcibly takes what he wants from Tamar. The great love that he reports to have had for his sister is fully exposed as to be nothing but wicked lustful desire, that cared nothing for the woman, and only for what Amon could steal from her. Verse 15 exposes what his true feels were, “Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her.” The truth is, what he mistook for love was nothing but his carnal desire, and once he had it, he through her out.

Maybe one could make the argument that he was disgusted with himself for commenting that act of rape, and so he didn’t want to look at her. That his hatred was really for himself, and so didn’t want to look at the face of the one he sinned against. But I don’t think so. He wickedly hatched a plan with his friend to get into that very situation, and when he didn’t get her willingly, he took her forcibly. He is the one purely at fault.

Some scholars speculate that because of David’s exposed sin, it might have soften Amnon to purse his own sexual deviances. Probably. It also broke the spiritual authority chain of David over his family. Husbands are to lead well. They are given a spiritual authority over their family, and when that authority is broken, all sorts of evil things can now attack the family. We can see that here. The spiritual protections God put in place have been removed because David let his eyes linger in his sin with Bathsheba.

Verse 16 is a difficult verse to understand because the Hebrew is unclear on exactly what Tamar is trying to communicate. However, it could be inferred that she sees the blame being placed on her rather than Amnon. It could be said that she made advances on him and seduced him, which would make her out to be the culprit. It would be easy for people to believe it. He was sick after all, and why would he lie, he’s the King’s son. If Tamar was seen as the problem, it would compound the injustice of the rape, to now place the blame on the victim. 

v.18-22, Tamar doesn’t allow that to happen. She doesn’t allow Amnon to play the victim in his crime. Instead, she does the only thing she can do, she physically shows what has happened to her without mentioning it out loud. She tears her garment, which had symbolized her virginity, and placed ashes on her head to show her distress and mourning. In this way, she physically shows that she did not want what was forced upon her. And she is seen by her brother Absalom in her mourning. He notices her distress, questions her about Amnon, and then provides for her needs as a “disgraced” women in Israelite society.

Then, the whole situation is exposed and David finds out. We’re told in the text that he is furious over the situation, but there is no action on his part to fix it. The Greek Septuagint renders verse 21 as, “And king David heard of all these things, and was very angry; but he did not grieve the spirit of his son Amnon, because be loved him, for he was his first-born.”

Likewise, the Dead Sea Scrolls renders verse 21 as, “But when king David heard of all these things, he was very angry. But he would not inflict pain on the spirit of Amnon, his son, because he loved him, for he was his firstborn.”

This gives us a probable reason as to why David doesn’t punish Amnon. He is David’s very first son. In the past, David has shown that he will punish people, however, he tends to not punish those who are his relatives. We saw this in the situation in 2 Samuel 3 between Joab, his cousin, and Abner. Though David knew Joab was a wicked man, he was family, and so didn’t punish him the way he should have. Here, that same lack of punishment would lead to a greater problem for his entire kingdom.

The situation ends on a festering of sin. Amnon’s rape of Tamar, David’s lack of justice, and Absalom’s anger at Amnon all call out for action, but for the moment, no justice comes.

Tamar’s story is one of the horrific moment’s that occurs to one person within the Scriptures. It’s a moment where the sins of the father flow down and drown the children. These truly are the Dark Days of David. To have one son rape his sister. For him to wickedly plot to take from her by force, what should have been given in love.

It’s stories like these that could have been easily brushed under the rug. We could have been told that Amnon violated a woman, and Absalom didn’t like how David handled it and chose to rebel. But God doesn’t gloss over the horrific nature of the violation. He exposes the sin, not just to the immediate players, but to all of history. We know of Tamar, because God didn’t want her to go unknown.

In that moment, there is no justice, no immediate consequences, just the sin, festering as an open wound ready to eat away at everyone involved.

God wants us to see that festering, because without him, it’s all we have. Open wounds of decay that are infected because we leave them untreated. David should have stepped up, pronounced judgment on his son, but he didn’t. He allowed his feelings for his first born to get in the way of godly justice. 

It is easy for that same thing to happen in our lives. I’ve heard it time and time again, “My child would never do such a thing!” But it’s not just parents and their children. We might call out the sins of our political rivals, and then passover the sins of those we agree with. We justify our own actions by pointing to others, “look what they have done, so what I have done doesn’t matter!”

But to this, God says these words through the prophet Micah, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (v.6:8)” A lot of times, that means to call out our own sides. It means to not act ungodly because it might make us look bad, which actually makes it worse in the long run. It’s the coverups by the Catholic Church. It’s the money to coverup our national representatives sexual misconduct. It’s looking the other way with our own children, because we don’t want others to think bad about us, or we’re just being plain blind to the fact.

God is calling us to honor him by judging justly, to walk in a godly kindness, and to live humbly before him. David failed his daughter by not acting justly in punishing Amnon. This would eventually lead to an all out civil war.

The same can be seen in our nation. We have injustices all around, from both political sides. We have injustices in our own families, because keeping the peace is greater than standing for godliness. God is calling us to follow him, and that might mean hard decisions. But if we don’t, the alternative is more and greater problems.

My challenge for you this week is this: Take an inventory of the actions of those who are “on your side.” These could be political, or familia. But take time and ask the question, “Am I making excuses for this person, because of my anger towards the other side? Or am I acting justly in my judgments?"

We are to be a people who do not hold the side of sin, but will call it out, because if we don’t, we are complicit in the act. We are the informants on our neighbors. We are the sharers of propaganda. David was complicit in his daughter’s rape because he would not act in godly justice. Let us not be complicit in the areas God has given us to stand firm in him. 

Instead, let us be a people in step with the Spirit of God, that we would hold on to him and nothing else, standing for his justice in the face of this world’s injustices. Amen.