Wearing Masks

From sixth grade to seventh grade I changed a lot, especially with my friends. I went from hanging out with friends that I had known since kindergarten, to friends that had just moved into town. Two of those friends were Noah and Sean. Noah was a huge kid for his age, and was made fun of because of it. It didn’t help that he came from a divorced family, and his dad was a bit abusive. Noah only took showers half the time, so no one really wanted to be his friend. As for me, I was always on the outskirts of the in crowd anyway, plus he lived right down the street from me. We started hanging out and eventually, more and more of the kids that didn’t quite fit in any crowd, found there way to us. That’s when Sean started hanging around with us. It wasn’t the best friends I could have picked, but at least we weren’t fake with each other. We were good friends through junior high and into high school, where we got into a lot of trouble.

After my freshman year of high school and all that trouble, my parents took my out of the public school and put me into a private Christian high school. I have to tell you that only thing that made it bearable was one of my friends. His name was Matt and just like me, he really didn’t buy into God. See, Matt had grownup in the school. His parents were good attenders of the church that sponsored the school. But Matt didn’t believe in what the church and the school taught.

And at the time, I didn’t believe it either. I was more of a blank slate than anything else. I cared more about getting my own pleasures taken care of, and I really didn’t think about what that did to others. So Matt and I got along great, two outcasts of the school who created our own little group of misfits and outcasts. One of our other misfit friends was Ben, who was the typical nerd. Always talking about the newest game or the newest comic. But with a few others, we developed a close group that we could call our own. At least for my sophomore year, because after that, I still wasn’t shaping up the way I should have been. So, my parents took my out of the school and put me into another one.

It was about 12 years later and through Facebook that I had contact with any of these past friends again. Noah seems to be doing okay, but I really have no idea what’s going on in his life. Sean works at Taco Bell, he recently got married and had a little baby. Matt is a professor at a community college and recently got engaged. And Ben works with computers and prepares taxes. That’s about all I know of their lives. And the reality is, when I look back at our friendships, I realize that even back then, I really didn’t know them. Even though we hung out, I never went to Sean’s, Matt’s or Ben’s houses. Never met their parents, never had any deeper discussions with them. And with Noah, we never talked about anything except music, girls, and video games. 

I know just about as much about them now as I did back then.

See, being around someone, and knowing them are two different things. We can spend a life time with someone and know very little about them. Marika and I have been married for 11 years and we’re still discovering things about each other’s past, about each other’s likes and dislikes.

Even the people in our churches, schools and jobs, who we might have known for all of our lives, or spend countless hours with, there’s a good chance that we don’t know them the way we think we do.

In fact we can try and convince ourselves that we know someone, but the reality is, we don’t. I’ve spent countless hours with a lot of teens, but I don’t know them guys, because the reality is we don’t tend to show each other who we really are.

We like to put on masks, we like to play games. Even when it leads to us getting hurt, it’s not the real us that hurts, it’s the mask, the fake us we put on. Yet, we think that it’s better that the fake us gets hurt, than the real us. We think that its better to put on a mask, then to allow our real selves to experience pain.

Because when we do show our true selves, and get rejected because of it, the mask gets easier to put on and hide behind.

We even do it with God. We try and play games with the one that says he knows us, even better than we know ourselves. And we think that the game is all that matters. But this is what Jesus says about the game in Matthew 7, 

21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

I played the game, I know what it means to put on a mask to hide myself so that I wouldn’t get hurt. I’ve played the game to stop my hurting, to fit in with others, and to gain things at the expense of other’s pain and suffering. But with God, there are no games, there’s only truth. We can play the game of masks and hide so we don’t feel pain, or we can take off the masks, and embrace this world.

My life since Noah, Sean, Matt and Ben has drastically changed. Out of all of us, I am the only one that i know follows God. My heart breaks for Noah, who has no direction to his life. My heart breaks for Sean, who struggles in his job. My heart breaks for Matt, who has rejected God completely. My heart breaks for Ben, who’s whole life revolves around a computer screen and escapism.

And my heart breaks for anyone, who would rather wear masks and play a game, rather than embrace the God who desires to set them free.

God already knows everything about us, but when we hide behind masks, we play a game that has no winners.

I became tired of the game, I became tired of my mask, and I chose to live my life as the one God created me to be. And since I’ve been doing that, I’ve experienced freedom. Jesus said in John 8, “31 If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

I have been set free of my mask, by following Jesus and living in truth, rather than with the lies that make up my mask. I invite you to know Jesus like that. To take off your mask and live for him, rather than playing a game with the people around you.