There’s a scene in Sophocles’ Oedipus the King where the hero, Oedipus, is faced with the riddle of the Sphinx. The scene unfolds as Oedipus is on his way to Thebes. However, a great Sphinx has besieged the city. To everyone who enters, the Sphinx would propose a riddle. Those who could not answer were killed. Here, Oedipus meets the Sphinx, and the lion with the head of a man speaks it’s riddle to the hero, “What goes on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening?” Oedipus answers with, “Man, who crawls as an infant, walks on two legs as an adult, and uses a walking stick in old age.” The Sphinx is so bewildered that someone could answer its riddle, that it kills itself, and Oedipus’ story continues. The Sphinx’s riddle is one of the most well known of any ancient riddle and it speaks of the human life cycle. This cycle of maturity in human life is used in the Scripture to talk about our growth in our faith.
This growth is what we have been talking about for the past four weeks as we have walked through four of the five stages of discipleship where we’re ending with the fifth stage, the parent stage. So if you have you’re Bibles, we’re going to be looking at the letter to Titus, chapter 2, starting in verse 1. As we open up to Titus 2:1, let’s review the first four stages of discipleship.
In our first week, we talked about how you can’t be a disciple without first accepting the Master’s call. Jesus calls us to repent of sin, and accept his work on our behalf for the forgiveness of that sin. When we accept his work, we move from death to life, and become his disciple.
Following that, we enter into the infant stage. In this stage we feed or consume a lot. Everything is new to us and it can feel like a flood of experience. In this stage, we see God’s rejoicing that we are his, because we are new in him.
This then leads to the childhood stage. Where we talked about the good parts of being in the child in our faith, but how the vast majority of Christians stay in it. In the child stage, we see the first signs of real growth in our faith, but it’s also the stage that comes with the most pitfalls, because we can easily fall into the trap of knowing too much for our own good. This stage is like the teenager who says, “I know it all,” when they have only experienced fifteen years of life. And I would say that within the child stage there are two parts: The child who is growing into maturity and the adolescent who is stuck in the growth and doesn’t move on. Now there is a difference between child-like faith where we trust the Lord as a child trusts their parent, and childish faith where we continue to have self-focus. Child-like faith continues through all stages and actually grows as we mature, whereas Childish faith is what keeps us from growth and leads into disappointment in the faith.
Finally, the fourth stage that we walked about was the the young adult stage. Here we talked about how God is calling us to full maturity, which means we have to put what we learned as a child into practice. A young adult begins to put into practice what they have learned and in doing so really beings to live life as an adult. There are pitfalls with the young adult stage, where it’s easy to want to shrink back into childhood, but if we can face the struggles that come with this stage, the next awaits. Let’s read about that stage from Titus 2, starting in verse 1.
1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
The final stage of discipleship is the parent stage. Just like it’s natural for a baby to be born, it’s only natural for that baby to grow up and have their own babies. We can see this happen with both the apostles John and Paul. In 1st John 2:12, John states, “I am writing to you, little children because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake.” Paul writes to the Thessalonians in their first letter, “For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. (2:11-12)” It is only natural for maturing adults in the faith to become parents of infants and children in the faith. Not in the sense that we produce new believers, but rather we parent them as they grow. One might say this is a foster parent role.
But before we get into what Paul is telling Titus, let’s ask the question, “What makes a parent a parent?” It’s children. Without getting too deep into that, natural parents have children, through biological means or through adoption. Spiritual parents are those who are active in sharing their faith to produce more infants, and mentoring those whom God has allowed them to disciple.
When walk through the words of Paul to Titus that we just read, we can see two parts of this parent stage. First, they are to be good examples. The older men “… are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.” This is mirrored in the older women who “… are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.” Parents are an example to their children. Children mimic the behaviors as they watch their parents. There’s a great country song called, "I've Been Watching You” by Rodney Atkins. The song starts off with,
“Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
'Till his nuggets were gone
Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath
His fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s" and I was concerned
So I said son now now where did you learn to talk like that
The response of the kid is,
He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you
Parents are role models to their children, and spiritual parents are role models to young believers. In fact, a few verses later Paul would write this, “7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. (v.7-8)”
Another aspect to spiritual parenthood is teaching. Both the older men and older women are to be purposefully teaching. Role modeling is a form of teaching, but there needs to be things like encouragement and rebuke. There needs to be correction, and cheering on. Parents show up for games to hype up their kids on the court. Spiritual parents do the same as God’s children are going through tough and victorious times of life. Parents are one call away when the kid needs help.
One last aspect I think is important to understand about spiritual parents, is found in the qualifications of a deacon in Paul’s 1st letter to Timothy chapter 3 verse 9. Paul writes, “They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.” Parents might not know it all, but they know a lot more than their kids. Spiritual parents also know more about how to walk faithfully with Christ. They have endured through many challenges and they trust Christ fully. They might have bouts of childishness, but they don’t revert in their faith. They are securely established in who Christ is and who they are in Christ. And because of this, they can parent others. Parents are engaging in the ministry with full dedication to Christ and his work. And by doing that, they are examples of what it means to follow Jesus and to suffer for him. Parents in the faith seek to produce and develop younger believers through the stages so that they would also become parents.
Now are parents perfect? By no means! Even the great apostle Paul said of himself, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. (Rom. 7:15)” Yet, Paul continued to look to Christ, knowing, “Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (v. 20)” Parents still struggle, but they realize that Christ has overcome their struggle and they trust in him.
Spiritual parents also realize that they haven’t come to full maturity. To the Philippian Church Paul wrote, “8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. (Phil. 3:8-12)”
The goal is full maturity in Christ, but that’s something that will come to its completion when we are brought into the full glory of the Lord. In theology we call it glorification, which is when the believer will be perfected, morally and spiritually This happens at either death or when Jesus returns. Until then, however, we continue, even as parents, growing in our maturity as we guide others in their faith.
God wants his children to produce children, that’s one of the first commands of the Bible to Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply … (Gen. 1:28)” As spiritual parents we come alongside and foster the work of the Holy Spirit as we intentionally mentor younger believers in their walks. Spiritual Parents are solid in their faith, are good role models, are intentionally teachers, and though they stumble like everyone else, they know they’re not fully mature, but they are moving ever closer to it.
So where are you? We have just spent five weeks talking about five stages of discipleship. Now seeing the full picture, where are you? Are you in death, then you need to come to Jesus, repenting of sin, and accepting his gift of eternal life. Are you an the infant, then continue grown by experiencing new things. Are you the child, then start putting into practice those things you are learning. Are you a young adult, then you need to step into more ministry work and endure the struggles. Or are you a parent, then you need to live the godly life you were called to live, forgiving and seeking forgiveness, and sharing the grace of Jesus with all those whom God has given you to mentor.
God rejoices as we mature through the stages of discipleship. Each one of us should be striving to enter into spiritual parenthood because there are not enough of spiritual parents in the Church. We need more. And if everyone strove to enter that stage of discipleship, not only would we have more mentors, we would have more people sharing and living out the Gospel. And as a result, we would have many more infants, children, and young adults to be mentored along the way. And the cycle of growth would continue.
Let us be a people of spiritual parentage, because where their are parents their are children, and God loves his children. Amen.
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